#26 Baseball bits and bobs
Fully free as a Memorial Day treat*
*In truth, we weren’t totally sure how to handle the long weekend/didn’t have anything special planned. So we’re giving ourselves a break and you all a fully free newsletter that’s just a roundup of baseball bits you may have missed while doing long weekend things. Stay ‘til the end for some great, reader-submitted alt merch.
⚾ I’ve been harboring a sort of secret anxiety that Shohei Ohtani will not return to the mound. This is based on nothing more than how utterly insane and objectively implausible it is that he ever pitched in addition to being capable of a 50/50 season at the plate. If you share a similar anxiety, or simply hanker for Ohtani the pitcher updates, let us delight in him facing batters for the first time since August 2023 while throwing live batting practice at Citi Field before the Dodgers game against the Mets on Sunday — because it’s clear he did. —HK
⚾ I’ve been really enjoying Doug Glanville’s substack because it does something very few people are qualified to do: combine the lyrical, essay-ish writing that’s become increasingly rare in sports journalism with the specific insights of a former big league player. Plenty of ex-players populate the media these days, but rather than rely on that experience to break down swings or slumps, Glanville focuses his expertise on more holistic aspects of life in the game. I keep meaning to share a specific piece and the one that finally pushed it into this list was a recent musing on José Alvarado — the Phillies reliever who recently received an 80-game suspension in response to testing positive for a performance-enhancing drug, not long after he was the subject of a heartwarming story about a local fan who idolized him. If you don’t know that aspect of the Alvarado story, catch up with Alex Coffey’s story about 12-year-old Princeton Bailey first. –HK
⚾ Maybe you heard the Colorado Rockies have been crazy bad. I try not to put too much stock in on-pace numbers early in the season, but a winning percentage that starts with a “1” on Memorial Day is a disgrace. And yet! Their attendance is middle-of-the-pack. The pleasant environs always sort struck me as a consolation prize for Rockies fans and players, but drastic times call for drastic measures. Kyle Clark, a Denver news anchor lays out a clear and compelling argument that fans need to stop showing up — because a dip in ticket sales might inspire ownership to do what a place in the history books as the worst baseball team of all time apparently can’t. –HK
⚾ Just watch Tarik Skubal hitting 103 mph (ok fine, 102.6 — but still, the “fastest strikeout pitch by a starting pitcher since pitch-tracking started in 1988”) for the final out in a 13-strikeout, complete game. —HK
⚾️ Sticking with that Skubal game for a second: Throwing a shutout in fewer than 100 pitches is known as a Maddux after its most prolific practitioner. Greg Maddux, appropriately, chucked twice as many of these games as anyone else in MLB history. Maybe it’s a little cheesy but I very much enjoy feats named after the guys who epitomized them. So, I wanted to see who the all-time leader in high-strikeout Madduxes is, in hopes of maybe finding a new moniker. Turns out, Skubal’s 13 Ks set the record for strikeouts in a Maddux, and only one pitcher has more than one Maddux with 10+ strikeouts — Chris Carpenter, somehow. I’m going to declare this open for Skubal to seize the naming rights. —ZC
⚾ A WooSox clubhouse attendant had to drive Marcelo Mayer to Fenway Park for his debut because he lost his car keys — three weeks ago. Crucially, the stories about this specify that, during this time, his car has been stuck at the Triple-A ballpark, which means at one point he drove to work but then couldn’t find his keys to drive home. So we know they’re somewhere in the stadium. Probably in the clubhouse. Maybe near his locker? Has he even looked for them? —HK
⚾️ The enormous (and not yet called-up) Royals prospect Jac Cagilanone has mashed his way up to Triple-A and strung together a barrage of home runs. The homers are very long and fun and I encourage you to take a look before he joins the AL Central race at some point, but mostly, I want to draw your attention to the fact that Caglianone — a 1st-round pick in the 2024 draft who seems likely to have a long, prosperous career — faced Clayton Kershaw while the Dodgers legend was rehabbing in the minors, and indeed laced two hits off him. I don’t think this is the most extreme example, but it was a moment that made me think, in real-time, “Well, that’s going to sound like a surprising matchup in 20 years.” I think I’m going to do some Silly Research into this matter, but by all means, if you remember a batter-pitcher matchup that actually happened but doesn’t seem like it fits on a timeline, send it my way. — ZC
⚾ Sneaking possibly an unpopular Juan Soto opinion into the ‘stack: I think it’s ok to expect professional athletes to hustle. Sure, everyone is a little lazy at work sometimes. Trick is to do it in a way that doesn’t draw attention to itself. If you figure out how to slack off strategically enough that it flies under the radar, that’s fine! If people notice you loafing it on the job — no matter the job — they might get pissed. And if you make so much money that there is simply is no under-the-radar because the sheer size of contract creates a perpetual spotlight? Well, it sounds like part of what you’re getting paid for is to be the subject of great scrutiny. Not sure it’s a career path I’d relish, but fortunately no one is offering it to me anyway. —HK
⚾ But I want to be so clear: No level of performance or perceived effort merits the kind of fucked up online comments that have become increasingly common in the era of incredibly prevalent sports gambling. Liam Hendricks is the latest player to detail the death threats he, and his family, get in response to what happens in a baseball game. This is pathological behavior. —HK
⚾ One more Soto-(adjacent) thought: With the arrival of Robert Hassell III in the Majors, the Washington Nationals are fielding four players they received in exchange for Soto when he was traded to the Padres at the deadline in 2022. And not just any four players. Hassell has only been there a handful games so he doesn’t quite factor yet, but it’s their two best position players in James Wood (155 wRC+) and CJ Abrams (145 wRC+) and their best pitcher in MacKenzie Gore (don’t look now but MacKenzie Gore has the highest strikeout rate of any qualified starter?!)1. Of course, if you’re going to trade a generational talent, the return better be a future fortune-changing haul, but it doesn’t always work out that way. —HK
Merch Merch Merch
A few issues ago, we asked readers to send us examples of their favorite alt merch — i.e. team gear (largely unlicensed) that is made by a local, city-specific company or artist. I wanted to highlight some of the submissions we’ve gotten and also encourage people to keep ‘em coming! I love this shit. If we get enough, I’ll build a centralized place for keeping track of them all.
Minnesota (Twins, sorta)
SotaStick
According to submitter, Drew Corbett: “[F]or the most part it's just creative Minnesota-local themes and inside jokes (that I sometimes do not even follow).”
Cleveland Guardians
Human Furnace
According to submitter, Dane Minich: James "Human Furnace" Bulloch is a Cleveland-area tattoo artist and singer for punk/metal band Ringworm. His combines the Guardians with classic rock/metal/punk logos.
New York Yankees
OK this is not quite the same indie vibe but cute enough to include anyway.
Polo Ralph Lauren Sweater
Submitted by Piper Moss
Send us the best local alt merch for your team (or story tips) at hellobandwagon@gmail.com.
I was going to say that the Nationals and Yankees won the Juan Soto trade and the Padres lost — but then my husband pointed out that Michael King is having a pretty great season, too. So instead I’ll say the Juan Soto trade talent tree is a fruitful one that will be kinda cool to keep tracking in seasons to come.
Hey look it's Bear-it Cole
Yankees fan here... Based on how good he's been my friends and I have started referring to it as the Trent Grisham trade 😂